Sunday, May 01, 2005

Two Lessons Learned

Strange weekend. I went back "home" (if I even still have such a place) this weekend to spend some time with my Dad and celebrate his belated birthday. While I was in town a couple things were a little weird which helped me learn a couple important lessons.

1) Friends change, I change.
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2) You don't know the people you know.

As usual since this is a public blog, I don't list any names so don't ask, but this weekend I learned that someone I know attempted suicide and was very close to being "successful" (strange way to put it, as there is no real success). The suicidal mentality has fascinated me since Kurt Cobain died in April of 1994. The hopelessness, both real and imagined, the pain, and the justification that a person thinks through boggles my mind. This weekend it became a lot more real to me and a lot less academic. You can't punch someone into a formula and determine if they are going to try to kill themselves. If they don't want you to know, you won't. I've looked at many of the "warning sign" lists and if those were true I would have been dead years ago. In any event, it has given me a lot to think about.